


why don't you figure my heart out?

by radiowrittenheart



Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Complicated Relationships, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drabble, Established Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 02:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5767198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/pseuds/radiowrittenheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“I think I’m in love with you, Penn Zero,” Sashi mumbled, twirling his hair around her fingers. “But don’t tell anyone.”</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	why don't you figure my heart out?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ruff_ethereal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/gifts).



> ruff's been feeling kind of down lately, and this fandom needed more of the perfect precious otp. all i've been able to write lately is angst, so here goes nothing!

She’s snuck into his house yet again, gone in through the window. Unlike the first time, she didn’t break it. In the twilight hours of the evening, the green numbers of the digital clock reading 1:48 am, Sashi finds herself wide awake. They didn’t do anything, nothing they shouldn’t have - they just like to be together…

...well, truth be told, he was practically wearing her lipgloss.

He had sent her a few texts, sappy little things about how he wanted to see her, and Sashi didn’t even think twice. She just headed over, and next thing they knew, they were intertwined with each other. Smiling, laughing, talking softly,  _ kissing _ \- he was an awkward kisser, a little sloppy, but she was no better. Miraculously, they fit, like how one would mix and match things.

This relationship, this whole dating her best friend, was new to Sashi. In fact, relationships in general were foreign to her. Penn had experience (even middle school girlfriends that lasted two days counted). He was the one who wanted her. She had given him a chance.

Four months was longer than a chance, actually.

Now, with the silent night as her eerie companion, Sashi’s mind began to wander.

She hated that.

Her mind began to wander, but her gaze was stuck. Focused. Fixated, like a predator examining prey. Rather, she was inspecting him. Because Penn was the sun; bright, beautiful, out of this world - and only mildly annoying.  **_This boy_ ** , the one who had confused her since the day she met him. His stupid hair, ridiculous name, dorky voice, the eyes that had seemed too dull to be dreamy, she changed. She really had. Sashi knew that Penn had slowly but surely chipped away at her, trying to soften her up.

He’d never succeed, but she gave him points for trying.

_ God. _

She didn’t know what to do with him, or herself, in this situation.

All she could do was kiss him. On his hidden freckles, right between his neck and collarbone. Near his jawline, crooked from accidents when his klutziness got the best of him. Dancing across his lips, chap from the crisp autumn weather.

She wanted more. More of him, even before all of _ this _ \- and not like  **that.**

Penn fascinated her after their slow, gradual friendship. She wasn’t sure why, but she always wanted to know more about him. Now that they were, as he had been coining it, “trying things out” - well… she wasn’t sure what to think. But she learned things.

She is well aware that there's a place in her rough, ragged soul that wants to make promises to him. And to think, he's already given everything he could to her. Sometimes, Sashi tells herself that she doesn't deserve Penn, that no one does. He’s so good, despite his faults.

Sashi feels an emotion creeping up, one she despises.

Confusion.

All because of a stupid boy. A stupid boy she’s risked her life for, quite literally, and he’s returned the favor everytime.

(Not that they were keeping count.)

She knows that she feels something for him, and she wants to place it, but at the same time, she doesn’t want to. She’s not so sure, and yet, she’s convinced. She’s so convinced, she lies to herself and says it’s not true. She can’t get attached.

Why?

She’s his sidekick. His best friend. His girlfriend.

She’d be an idiot not to get attached to him.

Her lips stop at his cheek, lingering there for a while to leave a lengthy kiss there. She pulls away, looking at him in the pale light of his room, provided by the open curtains. Penn’s no dreamboat, but she wouldn’t have him any other way. Sashi is aware of this feeling, but she can’t bring herself to come to terms with it.

The words leave her lips before she can even realize it.

“I think I’m in love with you, Penn Zero,” Sashi mumbled, twirling his hair around her fingers. “But don’t tell anyone.”

She doesn’t know why a single tear falls down her cheek, landing on his flannel pajama top.

She might never figure out why she loves him, either.

But that’s not what’s important.

For the first time in her life, Sashi Kobayashi doesn’t know what’s her main priority in life. Like always, she’ll turn to him for help. Because he was a hero, and not just hers, but everyone else’s as well. A rueful smile makes it’s way across her expression, she steals one last kiss from him as he stirs in his sleep.

Then, using his chest as a pillow, Sashi lets herself continue to get lost…

...maybe the dream world will make more sense than the real one, if only for a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> really, i just feel like sashi would have a lot of trouble with coming to terms she's in love with this fucking dork  
> not exactly oblivious just in denial  
> but it's okay sweetie he's your happy ever after~
> 
> comments are always appreciated! :)


End file.
